all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
