When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
