Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
