I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
It was like getting head from an anaconda
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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