the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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