he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I need water and some morals
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
