Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
