google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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