I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
