There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
