So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
