white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
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