So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
