I want to make a zoo with you.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
