Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
