I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
either way he was missing a nipple.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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