If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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