Sry I called you an 8
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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