Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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