i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
