i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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