i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
