i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
