i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
