You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
