I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
This is my gift to your gina
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
