so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
