You really coming over, don't trick.
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
