I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
