I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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