if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Randomize
