Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
