He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
