you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Randomize
