You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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