My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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