around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
So vagazzling was a success
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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