you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
