K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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