is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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