I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
