i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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