I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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