So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Randomize
