trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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