No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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