Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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