You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Randomize
