OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
