ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
the day after is always just damage control
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
