Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
