so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Why are your pants in the freezer?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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